ENOUGH, TOO MUCH – JUST RIGHT?

How do you propose to your girlfriend? In the film “A Beautiful Mind,” the mathematician and Nobel Laureate, John Nash, proposes to his girlfriend as he kneels before her and asks for some evidence, some proof if possible, of the reality of her love. She responds by asking him how big the universe is. And he says, without batting an eyelash, that it is infinite. She then asks for proof of his sweeping statement. He says that he knows it, that it can be inferred from the convergent possibilities of the stars and the galaxies, of space and time. She persists, and insists if any proof can be found. He replies that ultimately he can only believe it.

We have to believe that love is given in exchange for our fear. We should learn to accept that we have come to deserve all this beautiful grace; perhaps we shall never know. It is like love that lives in secret, enduring, as the poet Neruda writes, “between the shadow and the soul.”

I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where,
I love you straightforwardly, without complexities or pride:
so I love you because I know no other way than this,
In which there is I or you,
so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand,
so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

We need to experience love. For the past years, I have involved myself into relationships, each relationship built by trust and confidence. Amid the divergent, disordered possibilities of a fallen world, the proof that love is real and an elated feeling simply eludes us. But the questions here are: How can we sustain the love we are giving? How far can we go? Do we have to limit ourselves? Is it just right, too much or enough? The only thing I can share about love is:

“love like the love we are giving to our mothers.”

That is an infinite love – genuine and authentic. From my past relationships, I have learned so many things about love. First, each person is unique in his or her simple way. Never look for your attitude on her/him. Respect other’s differences. Do not ask to be loved, just love. Simply accept what love he/she can give. Second, always believe that when we love someone, we should give our 100%. Because if we cannot submit or give ourselves fully, then we do not love at all. Third, love is all about risk taking and commitment making–not foolishly and blindly, but after doing all the knowing that can be humanly done, love is about just taking that leap and entrusting one’s future to someone you love. That is also what FAITH is all about, isn’t it?

“Do what you can with what you have and what you can give. Never gauge, never ask for something.”

Last, we learn to be less preoccupied with self-preservation and give in more to transcending and going beyond ourselves to reach out to the other. Also, in giving ourselves in love, we learn to respect the selves we love, to celebrate the individual differences that distinguish these selves who love and are loved.

Advertisement

~ by Daga on October 25, 2010.